It’s Pride month across the world, where LGBTQIA+ people and allies remember those who bravely stood up against police brutality outside a New York City bar in 1969, and all those along the way who have worked tirelessly in ways big and small to create safety and equality. It’s a celebration, a commemoration, and a reminder that for many people across the world - and here in our own countries, too - there’s so much to be done to create a truly equitable, inclusive culture. It’s a chance for heterosexual families to affirm the existence and beauty of families created by same-sex, queer, and trans parents, and it’s a time for us all to think about how we are empowering our kids to be bold, kind allies or self-confident LGBTQIA+ people as they grow up.
Talking about Pride and LGBTQ+ People
What’s the best way to start talking to your kids about LGBTQ+ pride? Whatever feels most natural to you - what’s most important is that you regularly talk about LGBTQ+ people and demonstrate to your kids that you believe that everyone has the right to love who they want to love, and to express their gender identity in the way that feels most normal and natural to them. In our family, we’ve talked about Pride as a time to celebrate loving who you want to love, and to remember that we need to stand up for people’s rights to love whoever they choose. We have a number of close LGBTQ+ friends and family members, so we haven’t needed to emphasise that men can love other men, and women can love other women. If you have few LGBTQ+ people in your child’s life, it’s worth stating this directly and regularly.
As parents, we have no idea whether our kids will grow up to be LGBTQ+. Regularly using non-gender specific language about a child’s hypothetical future partner, for instance, is a way of leaving this space open for them, and letting them know that you don’t have any particular expectations of what their romantic futures will look like. No behaviour, hobby, or habit that a child has can predict whether or not they will grow up to be queer or trans. The idea that you can ‘see’ a future gay man or lesbian by their love of fire trucks or sparkly shoes as a child is based in a narrow, limited idea about what is acceptable for ‘normal’ girls and boys to like. We get to love our children’s unique and often-fleeting interests when they are young, and be surprised and proud of whoever they become as they mature.
Although this is the last week of Pride month, that’s no reason to stop talking about LGBTQIA+ individuals, families, and histories. It’s a great time to start diversifying your bookshelves and thinking about how you can talk about queer* history throughout the year. Here’s a top three of my favourite kids’ books about Pride that are worth reading any time of year.
Children’s Picture and Board Books about LGBTQ+ Pride
Our Rainbow by Little Bee Books is one of our current favourites for tiny and bigger hands. It talks through all the colours of the Pride rainbow flag - including black and brown, newly included to highlight the racism Black and Minority Ethnic LGBTQ+ people face within the wider LGBTQ+ community. Each page is illustrated by a different artist, and talks about universal themes like forgiveness, letting your spirit shine, and taking care of nature.
This Day in June by Gayle Pitman takes a rhyming trip through a Pride parade. It would be a perfect read if you are going to attend a Pride event to begin talking about some of what you might see. There’s all the traditional parts of a Pride parade!
Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag by Rob Sanders is for older children - definitely over age 6 I’d say, and possibly older still if you have a very sensitive child, since it frankly discusses Harvey Milk’s assassination. It may be possible to skip over this part if you have a quite young child, although they may notice! For the older reader, it gives a hopeful and inspiring description of Harvey Milk’s life as the first openly gay American politician, and the origin of the rainbow-coloured Pride flag.
If you’re interested in finding beautiful, diverse books for your family, I’d love it if you hop over and check out the Balanced Book Box, which is my newest project! Each month, you’ll receive up to 3 peaceful, inclusive books along with a guide for talking about gender stereotypes, racism, homophobia, and other themes. You’ll also get access to a private parents’ community where you and other Book Box families can share ideas about raising kind people. Anyone on the mailing list before the doors open on Friday the 28th gets a discount code off your subscription.
* A note about language: if you want to understand more about the words LGBTQIA+ people use to describe their identities - and why there is that long acronym, or the plus sign, the Comprehensive List of LGBTQ+ Vocabulary Definitions is a great place to start.
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